Relationships are important.  On the one hand, relationships are delightful and uplifting. They enhance our lives with love, fun, curiosity, progress, success, and learning.  On the other hand, when inharmonious, they can weigh us down, discourage, frustrate, or harm us.  Some relationships can even traumatize us.

Sometimes people who are connected to each other can trigger each other’s trauma. When that happens, we can lose our ability to act as our rational, calm, best selves.  We might become irrational and do or say things impulsively, without thinking.  Negative patterns and complications can grow between people who care about each other, or who at least need to work together effectively.

This is really tragic.  Most of our issues are not completely due to what’s happening in the relationship in the current moment. They often are due to past experiences, either with the same person or with other people with whom we’ve felt disappointment, hurt, fear or terror.  The same can be said of our partner/parent/son/daughter/ friend/boss or co-worker.  Their small or large traumas can be triggered just as easily, which means there is double the chance for flare-ups in the relationship.

If one person can become less vulnerable to triggering, it makes a big difference in relationships.  It interrupts the cycle of emotional reactivity, allowing flare-ups to be prevented or navigated with a more calm and rational mindset.

If one person gets help with their trauma, they can set the relationship on the path toward healthy functioning.  They can learn to be true to themselves, and not react emotionally to the other person when triggered.  This allows for new patterns of relating.  The relationship can begin to change in a healthy way. As one client put it – “The thing that made me angry now makes me smile.”

As a relationships and EMDR specialist, Kimberley is highly qualified to use EMDR as a way to help people get “unstuck” in their relationships.  EMDR helps to speed up the healing process, to make your relationship more complete, solid, and secure. It’s healing, faster than the speed of speech.

Since EMDR is proven to be efficient and effective for a variety of issues, we encourage you to contact Island EMDR if you need help with parenting relationships, couples’ relationships, workplace relationships, or friendships.  All are important for our well-being, and can benefit from the guidance of a therapist with excellent EMDR credentials, who commits to using Pure EMDR.

If you would like to know more about how EMDR can help with relationships, please contact us at 250-514-3864 or